


For Those Words We Can't Say

by myheartismadeofstars



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin
Genre: Extramarital Affairs, F/M, Illegitimacy, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Inspired by Music, Mentions of Sex, No Smut, Pre - Robert's Rebellion, Robert's Rebellion, arthur dayne isn't as honourable as people think he is, but like not really mentioned, elia isn't innocent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-15
Updated: 2017-03-15
Packaged: 2018-10-05 15:32:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10311377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myheartismadeofstars/pseuds/myheartismadeofstars
Summary: Every thought is sin when I breathe you in. I find heaven feels so near. You're the only one, you're the shining sun, I am lost when you're not here. Oh Sweet One, I pray for those words we can't say.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is the song I was inspired by Karliene's fan song for The Borgias by the same title. I have no idea how it turned from Cesare and Lucrezia to Arthur and Elia, but there you have it. The song in question: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ai6W4X0LIc&index=2

He had tried so hard to resist her. He prayed in the sept for help. First to the Warrior to give him the strength to uphold his vows...but eventually he forsook that route and prayed, nay, _begged_  the Mother to be merciful on him for the sinful thoughts in his head.

For all the talk of honour and duty, Arthur Dayne was a man still. He had a man’s heart and his heart carried a torch for the woman his dearest friend was to marry. Elia was a friend to his sister, and he, in turn, a friend to her brother. They had known each other before. And, worse, he had loved her before.

When the fateful day came for Elia to arrive in King’s Landing, Arthur was there to see her. She would be married to Rhaegar, but he would always love her more than his poor beautiful fool of a friend ever could dream. Her with her sunkissed (and yet oddly pale from her illness) skin, long thick curls the colour of jet, and eyes so dark they looked black, but if you knew her well enough you would see the light of the sun that her family had made their sigil in their depths. Some people said she was plain. Those people had no idea how lovely she was.

He hated drawing guarding her bedchambers. It was so tempting, Arthur occasionally wondered if this was to be his punishment for loving her so much, even after joining the Kingsguard. 

Arthur’s self-control was good enough that Elia was still a maid when she wed Rhaegar. However, it did not escape Arthur’s notice that Rhaegar preferred his own bed, and shunned Elia’s. 

That fateful night, it was Elia who called him into her chambers. Arthur could remember very little of what exactly had happened, but somehow the two had wound up tangled in each other’s arms. Had Elia seduced him? Or he her? Had he confessed his undying love, and she recipocated, or had it merely been a moment of lust? Or had there been no words at all, an unspoken agreement that they never _could_  speak the words they thought and felt?

All Arthur truly remembered was the feeling of skin on skin, her lips on his lips, on the skin of his shoulders, her hands clutching skin and hair, and the sound of her breathing...and, later, the way the sun had kissed her skin and reminded him that he had broken his vows.

What scared him most though was that he would do it again. He often wished he had.

Too soon after the one night of passion and -at least in Arthur’s view- love that they shared Rhaegar packed up his wife and took leave to Dragonstone. He had quarrelled with Aerys... _again_. 

Arthur had momentarily considered killing the king after that. He was already an oathbreaker, right? But he couldn’t. If he did, he would have to give up Dawn, for he would not be worthy of her anymore. He could not disgrace his family that way. Allem the Lord of Starfall whom Arthur had long wanted to make proud, Ashara his funny and fiery little sister who idolized him, and even Allyria, who Arthur had not seen in so long he could not even tell you how old his littlest sister was...they would be ashamed if he did something foolish. Especially over something so petty as his friend taking his wife to another castle. Arthur did not know who of his siblings it would hurt him more to see disappointed. 

Arthur had gotten over that sore patch...until he had heard Elia had given birth. A daughter, that Rhaegar named Rhaenys. At first, Arthur was jealous but then he thought...could Rhaenys be _his_? He had bedded her mother, after all, and the timeline wasn’t impossible.

When Rhaegar came to display the six-month-old Rhaenys (having kindly waited for Elia’s poor health to recover from birth) to his parents, Arthur took the chance to ask Elia what she thought. 

“I look at her, and I remember our night together more than any night with Rhaegar. I believe she is yours.” 

With that, Arthur had a daughter. One he could never acknowledge, but he had a child with Elia. Something Rhaegar did not have, and his was _first_. That was a bigger deal in Dorne (especially seeing as Rhaenys was a girl) but it meant something to him.

When Elia and Rhaegar moved back to the Red Keep, Arthur could not stay away from Elia’s chambers. Not even so much to share her bed, just to hold her and hold Rhaenys and kiss them both...play family for a while. How no one figured it out was anyone’s guess. Perhaps his brothers _did_  know and kept his secret safe as they did for Lewyn and his paramour...though the situation was _very_  far from his.

When Rhaegar asked Lord Whent to host a Tourney at Harrenhal, Elia was with child again...again, they were unsure who had fathered the child. By this time, Arthur had long forgotten his original guilt. Elia didn’t seem to have any about their relationship. They loved each other.

Arthur was disappointed that he did not get to crown Elia his Queen of Love and Beauty...and worse, Rhaegar passed her up for the Stark pup.

After Aegon’s birth (who Elia was fairly certain was Rhaegar’s, though with Arthur’s light blond hair and violet eyes there was really nothing to say that Aegon didn’t simply favour Arthur where his sister favoured Elia.) Arthur had gone with Rhaegar and Oswell to speak to Lord Whent in private, only to encounter Lyanna Stark...and then Arthur (and Oswell) were left in charge of guarding Lyanna.

At that Tower, Arthur was in his element again for the first time in years. The Dornish mountains were his home, even if he was far from Starfall. Lyanna had a fiery personality not unlike Ashara, something he gladly told Oswell when he accused him of being attracted to her. 

True to his relationship with Ashara, Arthur and Lyanna quickly bonded. Turns out she felt less homesick with Arthur around (with her claiming he reminds her of Ned). The two even (somewhat jokingly) suggested that Allyria and Benjen marry. This bond was so strong, that Arthur eventually confessed to Lyanna about his affair with Elia. Lyanna was too happy to start teasing him.

Arthur missed Elia during that year. He could not wait to see her again.


End file.
